Part 3 of the Staples Trilogy proves my daughter is not a Trap Queen, Empress, Archduchess, Vicereine, Countess, Baroness or Dame.

Ah. Uh. Hmm. So.

The Staples trilogy hits its epic conclusion with an album I solidly DO NOT recommend you play for your newborn. Vince Staples is a lot of things. He is an honourary member of Odd Future, a Def Jam recording artist and listed on XXL Freshmen 2015. Whatever that is. Oh BECAUSE HE’S FRESH, MAN. That’s so clever.

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this album. Or Staples in general. His affiliation and with Earl Sweatshirt is well known, so I thought he’d have a similar approach to Sweatshirt’s mellow, melodic, atmospheric tracks. He does not.

As I was trying to get Eleanor ready for bed, I flipped Summertime ’06. This is Staples’ debut full album and critics like Consequence of Sound and Pitchfork fell over themselves to praise it. I’ll say this; if I did not have an already-fussy two-week old squirming in my arms while this played, I’d probably agree. But Eleanor did not agree – and I can kind of understand why.

Staples’ sound is in step with his peers. It’s Trap. There’s a driving, irregular beat with minimal samples attached. But that’s where Staples breaks away from the pack. They’re more industrial-sounding – more robotic. With tracks like “Birds & Bees”, Staples samples the actual animals to create an uncomfortable wall of noise that hovers throughout the song’s duration. On “Lemme Know” (featuring the fabulous Jhene Aiko), the chanteuse’s vocals are honey-sweet, and they add a nice contrast to Staples’ abrasive samples and vocals. Of course, to Eleanor, it was just a mess. Hence the exacerbation of her pre-bed fussing.

So, while I am going to crank this record on an inevitable solo trip to Shoppers Drug Mart, this is not so great a) as one of Eleanor’s first hip hop albums b) around children at all.

So I’m going to have to give Summertime ’06 5 (out of 5) shrieking Eleanors.

I’ve also started a separate Spotify list for songs from albums Eleanor hates. There are sure to be more.